Me and my boyfriend have been together for six years on and off... we just recently split and Im curious on anyones ideas on how to over come the loss of a loved one in a relationship and what you all have done to stay positive..
I would sincerly appreciate it.
Find something new, a hobby, a skill etc, that makes you feel better about yourself - Replace that hollow or inadequate feeling with something positive.
Fight the memories until you are strong enough to think about them without putting yourself through the unnecessary punishment. When ever those triggering thoughts come into your head, have an image that you associate a strong feeling with, to replace them.
Help others. Working or volunteering has so many benefits when you're down. It enables us to get a better perspective on life and our own situation, and it also keeps you busy enough to take your mind off constantly thinking of the lost friendship.
Go to the library or bookshop and find a book.
"The Power of Now - Eckhart Tolle" - A fantastic read to open your mind up to a different way of thinking.. Google it :)
Also autobiographies are great to relate to and see how others have dealt with struggle.
The usual eat healthy, get enough exercise and sunshine.
Write, paint or just create.
And one of my favourite things is listening to podcasts or spoken word.. somebody telling you a story is always nice. I listen to them while falling asleep.
Animals - the unconditional love from a kitten or puppy is a really beautiful thing.
I hope you're feeling okay; with any luck maybe one of my suggestions will help you.
Good luck and keep smiling.
I think that others have given great advice about how to go on, but first I think that it's essential to deal with the break up so that it won't come and haunt you years from now.
This is my advice list right after a break up
- talk about it with someone
- cry a lot when you feel like it, but don't wallow in it, let it pass
- let him go by getting rid of the things which remind you of him (emails, text messages, music, clothes, pictures, defriend him on facebook...) - here are some instructions:
- hate him if you can find that emotion, or hate the break up instead. Hate is a useful emotion in this situation! Writing it out into bitter and dark letters will help - burn the papers when you are done.
- forgive yourself
- forgive him
- think of the lessons you learned from the relationship.
After a mourning period if he comes to mind, send him thoughts of love and let it go. And then find yourself and your life by yourself. Move in with other cool people if you feel like it, hoop, have fun, enjoy!
... these are lessons which I learned during my divorce after 12 years together.