Replies to This Discussion

StudentPermalink Reply by pru*dance on February 6, 2011 at 3:54pm

Thank you for bringing this up, Nikki. I've been very fortunate in that I have not personally encountered this kind of negativity, but I'm sorry that you have. I think it's born of insecurity: if folks are happy with who they are and what they can do, then they won't feel compelled to put others' moves down. 

 

Also, I think you're really onto something about women being conditioned to put each other down, as though we should all view each other as competition. I share your perspective: let's build each other up and learn from each other! We all do well when we all do well.

 

I'm sort of curious about these people who claim they were "always good at hooping" and "never got bruises." I must admit that I laughed out loud at that--I've knocked myself upside the head, whacked myself in the nose, hit various joints so hard I cried, and collected a fine array of bruises, and I definitely had to start my journey from "waist hooping is really, really hard." How lucky they are to be born perfect! ;)

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Permalink Reply by Nikki Osier on February 6, 2011 at 8:39pm

I agree! I think it is  women thing. It seems like putting each other down and competing happens a lot. And yeah I know when the person said it to me I wanted to laugh too. What hooper didnt get bruises in the beginning? We all have to start some where! I love how you said How lucky they are to be born perfect! haha Love it! :)

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StudentPermalink Reply by Gina on February 6, 2011 at 4:06pm

...hooping is majickal ;-)

...hooping is personal :-)

...hooping is a private place often done in public :-)

...hooping is medicinal :-)

...hooping is spiritual :-)

I find joy in those who wrongly think they cannot hoop.

I find joy in watching the *pros*

I find joy in my own difficulties within the hoop.

...hoop HAPPENS

It should never be competitive. I agree.

Let it go...and hoop ;-)

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StudentPermalink Reply by PF76 on February 6, 2011 at 8:30pm

Are these comments coming from just one person?  Or several?

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Permalink Reply by Nikki Osier on February 6, 2011 at 8:39pm

Several different people.

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StudentPermalink Reply by Rachel on February 6, 2011 at 9:41pm

All hoopers get black and blue spots!  Maybe not in the same place, but we all get them, and we wack are selfs in the face, and the hoop gose flying.  those people who are making rude comments have issues of some kind.  Don't late them get you down. 

I have a firend who's a none hooper and she has issues, and every time I talk to her just about anything, school, the weather etc... she always has to say something negivitive and it gets me all in a uproar and puts me in a bad mood.  So I guess what I am saying is that when people put others down they are unhappy with themselfs, and have to be rude to others in order to feel better. Why I don't know nor do I understand that, but that is what Ihave been told about my nagivitive friend who puts me down for no reason at all. Dose that make since? Sometimes I don't explain things well.

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Permalink Reply by oooooniki on February 6, 2011 at 10:32pm

It's so funny, before I picked up a hoop, I heard everyone talk about bruises and I was like "What? How am I going to get bruises from a hoop?!?"

 

Yeah.  Just took a picture of my first hoop bruise last week. 

 

My hoop has smacked me in the face over and over. I've banged up my ankles, pulled my shoulder too much with a lift up, and couldn't move one night after being a little too rough with neck hooping.  I personally am proud of them.  They are battle scars.  It makes me feel like I love my hoop so much and I really try hard, and I'm not afraid to mess up.  That makes me prouder then I would ever be to never push myself and never drop a hoop.

 

I agree about women being conditioned to compete with each other.  It sucks and it doesn't have to be this way.  I really think that there is enough room for all of us to shine in the spotlight.  One of my favorite things about the hooping community is that it seems like at the core, the people that really feel it, know that it has nothing to do with competition, and a 'mistake' that sends a hoop flying is beautiful too.

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Permalink Reply by Dayna on February 7, 2011 at 12:38am

Ahhh Nikki I feel you.  Not just with hooping.

Sometimes I get SO frustrated with the way women tend to compete.  Lately in my circle of friends it has been about where we are in life... one friend is in Europe getting married, one is in D.C., one is successful at Microsoft... and I am happy being a traveling, wandering, delightful weirdo (in a good way)!  I feel happy... but I feel as though they unconsciously (or maybe it IS conscious, but I doubt it) feel and insinuate that I should be at the same 'level' in life.  As if those exist to begin with!  

 

With hooping, there has only been an instance or two when I feel 'wow, they look SO great hooping and I've been hooping for months longer!' or something along those lines.  But it never leads me to put the person down, I tend to get excited with and for them, and (like was said previously by someone else) encourage me to do better!  Not to compete, but for myself.

 

My motto in terms of friends and who I surround myself with has been this as of late: if they aren't encouraging, building me up, inspiring me to be greater, or if they tend to talk negatively of my hooping/life/hooping life, I simply won't spend as much time with them.  It is discouraging... but this community as a whole is so receptive and wonderful that I feel it more than compensates for those few people that can't crack out of that shell of inherent competitiveness.

 

I guess try to hone in and focus your energy toward those people.  :)  Good luck sweetie.

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Permalink Reply by janet on February 7, 2011 at 5:44am

Sometimes I feel the same into my hooping community and the fun is limited or minimum; however we have options ... let's bring the benefits of hooping as a community, We migh have to separate performance practice from fun hooping (the one that accelerate your heart, release the stress and will enlarge your borders as a part of the univers).  Do you think certification get us like that?

I will hoop me,  you hoop you!

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Permalink Reply by Lacey on February 7, 2011 at 11:29am

Years ago, I used to feel like people were constantly competing with me, trying to one-up me, criticizing, etc. Maybe they were … maybe they weren’t. But after years of feeling frustrated, I came to the realization that part of my frustration with people was that I was projecting my ego and insecurities on their words and actions. Once I let go of my ego and insecurities, I let go of all the negativity associated with their comments. If I offer to do something for somebody (like taping a hoop) and they turn me down, I don't take it personally. I know that I've offered something positive - they don't owe it to me to accept the offer. If I say I like a band and they respond that they hate it, I'm ok with that. I like the band because *I* like the band, not because anyone else does.  If somebody tells me that they’ve never bruised while hooping (I personally never got a bruise from hooping, although I have split my lip), I interpret it as them sharing their personal experience, which might be different than mine, rather than claiming their form must be better than mine or their skin must be tougher than mine.

 

When I taught high school students, I used to dismiss class every period by saying things like “Have a terrific Tuesday” or “Have a wonderful Wednesday”. Some days my students would try to anticipate what I was going to say and beat me to it, and I would respond with “Thank you, you too”. Another teacher witnessed it once and asked why I let them “mock me” like that. I asked him how often he had 30+ high school students wishing him a magnificent Monday. While my students probably were mocking me, it really didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. I could either chose to get upset over it, or I could put on my rose colored glasses and chose to hear the words as they said them …. without worrying about any underlying meaning. Life is happier my way, and when you interpret somebody’s actions/words with a positive spin, most don’t have the guts to correct you and tell you that they intended to be mean-spirited.

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Permalink Reply by Stellar Sunshine* on February 7, 2011 at 11:39am

"But after years of feeling frustrated, I came to the realization that part of my frustration with people was that I was projecting my ego and insecurities on their words and actions." 

Lacey, that's exactly what I have been coming to terms with myself, recently.  Thank you for sharing your experience :-)

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Permalink Reply by Nikki Osier on February 8, 2011 at 1:36pm

I love your response! thank you! I guess it doesnt matter what some one's intentions are, just looking at it positively makes the difference.

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