Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Richie 'Monkey Mooncalf' Isaacs on February 7, 2011 at 1:05pm

One thing I have found is, when looked for, one detractor can be replaced by a dozen supporters.

You're on the right site for the latter :o)

Friendly rivalry is loads better than competing, healthy, as it helps motivate you to do better at what you do and is good fun, as it has the element of 'here, let me show how to do what I just did' in it rather than 'haha, you can't dooooooo it' (apologies if you actually heard That Voice sayin' that ;)

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Stellar Sunshine* on February 7, 2011 at 4:23pm

Right on, Richie :-)  And I totally did hear that voice as I read, haha.

• ▶ Reply

StudentPermalink Reply by Leah Shoemaker on February 7, 2011 at 8:10pm

Hmmm I don't like this kind of stuff either.

 

I get a lot of children saying "You're better than her" and I try and explain there is no "better" when we are just playing around.

I also hate when other hoopers complain (not quite the right word) about how I am better than them.
It makes me really uncomfortable and it makes me think they are missing a huge point. 

When people are negative to you it usually is because of jealousy. Come up with a couple lines you can use in these situations.  If someone said to me that it is funny that they are already better than me I would probably make a remark about becoming their modesty was.
When people say I am showing off, I usually give them a shit eating grin and say "damn straight". It is no use to explain how happy it makes me to these people. I don't put up with girls and their lack of confidence if they are going to push negativity on me.

"There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you."

 

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Nikki Osier on February 8, 2011 at 1:39pm

Yes, I know what you mean! I hear that too when some one says something about me being better I feel bad and it is uncomfortable. I dont know what to say, most of the time I just say well I practice everyday. You'll get there one day! I've even been in situations where some of my friends dont stay at my hoop jams long because I think they feel uncomfortable because they arent as good as some people. I can imagine though I might feel the same way when I first started hooping. And I love what you said about showing off, "Damn straight!" haha love it!

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Allyssa on February 7, 2011 at 9:15pm

This makes me a little discouraged. Although not surprised. I don't know any hoopers that exhibit this behavior but I have MALE friends who spin props and they tend to be the ones who compare themselves to each other. All I wonder is, if you are doing this as a competition, why are you doing it at all? We all [should] spin because we love it, not to impress people or show off. Everyone likes hearing they have skill of course, but when you are saying things like "I am better than her/him" you need a reality check! Life isn't a competition, it's a journey! Be glad you got the opportunity to take it :)

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Heather Harrington on February 8, 2011 at 3:59pm

I agree, but let's not put negative vibes about where we are from about this, because we have a lot of beautiful people all around us. Yeah, it gets me all up tight when some girls don't hoop b/c it has gotten a lot of fans over the years, but to me, I think it's freaking great! Share the love of hooping! If I could make a hoop for anyone and everyone, I totally would. If I could have a foundation strictly for making hoops for everyone, kids everywhere, I would because it is an absolutely wonderful thing. I think this self loving tool should be shared with anyone and everyone. It has made me discover and rediscover many things in my life, and will continue to forever.

But on the note of being bruised, maybe it's my style but I will still hold my answer on that. I was never really bruised ever hooping, and no.. not the way you took it, not because I think I've "always been good at hooping". I just didn't bruise myself somehow? Simple as that. It was a clear statement that shouldn't of took as if I was being cocky, whatsoever :)

and funny that you started this convo, because when I was invited to be in a "Hoop competition video blog" on here, I said immediately ..since when did hooping become a competition?

Thank you <3

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Nikki Osier on February 8, 2011 at 7:58pm

I wasn't putting negative vibes about where we are from. It was just an observation about some comments girls have said to me. Had nothing to do with you. If fact the girls weren't even from where you live. I live in watseka, and they were from various girls. I know you never said you were the best at hooping, that's why the comment wasnt about you, some one else had said it to me. I wouldn't put something on hoopcity where you have an account to read that was about you. And it was just a thought about how women try to compete, as i said it wasn't just with hooping. So it was just a thought about other comments too, not just about hooping. It was negativity I had experienced and was just discussing it and wondering if any one else had encountered negativy such as this. Trust me you or any one around us hasn't ever showed me negativity such as this :)  it was just some other comments from some people in town and other places that I have met. I've always felt positivity around you and I thank you for that :) And as you can tell I'm not the only one who noticed the way women tend to compete. It was just a discussion, I wasn't trying to bring negativity to any one or call out any one on the internet.

• ▶ Reply

StudentPermalink Reply by Kim Cuppett on February 8, 2011 at 5:47pm

I HAVE HAD THE SAME PROBLEM!! I'm kind of glad to find out I'm not the only one. So this is a very long story...

 

Whenever I had first started hooping, I met three girls at a local park who were super nice and showed me tricks. They were better than me, so they, of course, had more experience than me. Well a few months later, after I got very into hooping, I decided to start a Hoop Jam in my local community.  By spreading the word through facebook, I was able to get in touch with the three girls I had met at this park.  After sending a message, the one girl who had been hooping the longest, never messaged me back about coming out to a hoop jam session (even though they are totally free), but we remained friends on facebook.  Anyways, a few weeks later I find out she's teaching a hooping class on Tuesdays. Since it was posted as her status, I asked her where the class was because I was interested in attending her class. I also added into a later post that hoopers should also come to my hoop jam on Mondays.  The Hoop Jam and the hoop class were being held on completely separate days.  The one I hold is free, and the one she holds costs money.  Therefore when I mentioned my hoop jam on her facebook status, I wasn't taking anything away from her.

 

So, she de-friends me on good ole facebook. And I talked to this girl's friend about it (well, they were friends until the main girl got mad at her for supporting my hoop jam).  Apparently this girl who I'm having issues with, felt that I was taking her spotlight. Word for word, she called it a "competition."  

 

I COULD NOT BELIEVE THIS! :(

 

The whole reason I started a hoop jam in our community was to spread the joy and love of hooping.  I wanted to find other hoopers, beginners or experienced, to hoop with. I think of hooping as an art form; it brings me so much joy and happiness and freedom. And I wanted (and still want), to share these magical feelings with others.  I want them to know the freedom and joy that comes from the hoop. And when I found out about all of this drama (which I am not one for drama...I'm all about the peace, love, and happiness), I almost cried.  Why would people ever let their egos get the best of them when it involves such a beautiful art form like hooping? I feel like this is the anti-representation of what we're supposed to be doing and finding in the hoop, and spreading with others. I want and wish so badly that she wouldn't feel this way. I even sent her a message on facebook telling her the reason I started the hoop jam (to spread the joy of hooping and to meet great people), and apologizing to her a million times for making her feel any sort of negative way. I was super nice. And guess what...she never even messaged me back. How sad. 

 

And I know this is a one in a million example, because I've found so much love and support from fellow hoopers on HoopCity, but it just has to make you sad to know that this does still happen. It definitely upset and discouraged me.

• ▶ Reply

StudentPermalink Reply by Kacie Knight on February 8, 2011 at 6:47pm

That's brutal, but it really is her own insecurities, and has nothing to do with you. It sounds like she is threatened by you, through no fault of your own. It's too bad, because I think most of us have your philosophy, the more the merrier!

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Casey B. on February 8, 2011 at 6:59pm

aw Kim, I'm sorry that really sucks. :( I don't get it though, you'd think in a way, her attending a hoop jam would get her more exposure to more people and possibly help her class attendance grow? I don't know, people are weird. I definitely don't think you did anything wrong, that's just her insecurities for sure.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Nikki Osier on February 9, 2011 at 5:25pm

Wow! I can't believe that happened either! She probably felt threatened. You were just being nice and inviting her to your jams and you wanted to go to her class. It's sad that some people feel the need to react this way, she lost a customer for her class any ways. Dont worry about it though, seems like those girls weren't people you'd want at your hoop jams anyways! It does suck when you're nothing but positive and people just can't help but be negative no matter what.

• ▶ Reply

StudentPermalink Reply by Molly Miller (b0wieh00ps) on April 3, 2011 at 10:07pm

You're welcome to come start a hoop jam over here! 8D I think I'm the only hooper for 30 miles. >.<

• ▶ Reply

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• Next ›
• Page