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Yes, I have had that happen to me..when I was younger I was very much under the naive impression that everyone at the festival or event was smiles, happiness, and rainbows. People come for all different reasons and from all different places in their journey of life. Never walk off with someone you don't know becuase they seem cool. Take the same preventative measures you should anywhere. I just copied this list from the internet, but I think it helps in becoming aware.
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If you can, stick around someone that you trust. The buddy system is always helpful.
I always do, it was so weird because my sister, boyfriend, and friends were all around when it happened. I'm lucky I was with my friends this time, the first time I was alone.
Wow, that sounds horrible, i'm sorry you had to experience that! Just know that you're not alone! Although i've never been touched i've been in some very uncomfortable situations. If it gets too weird i'll stop hooping & either move or ask them to back up! I've noticed that drunk men are THE WORST when it comes to this kind of thing. BEWARE OF DRUNK DUDES! lol! Some people just don't understand that we're hooping to dance & express ourselves in a non-sexual way. They don't see the beauty, love, & positive vibes it sends out like we do. They never really make that connection. They just see us as hot girls, dancing around with a hula hoop around our hips. Always be more careful at larger festivals. LOTS of variety of people & lots more people period. I never have issues at small venues. Stand your ground.. that's the best advice I have for hoopers.
I hate that excuse, wearing appealing or provocative clothing is not an open invitation to be fondled. Sorry to hear this happened to you love, that's truly terrible and I hope those guys get what they deserve. I am actually going to one of my first festivals in a few months, will definitely be keeping my boyfriend, my taser, and my mace close at hand. Its messed up that just about anywhere these days you have to be on the look out for people like that. A girlfriend and I got stocked in a Walmart once, thank god her brother was with us because when we left, the three guys were waiting for us outside like they were going to try and kidnap us, scariness.
I'm not making light of this situation, but I couldn't help but notice you accidentally wrote:
"stocked in a Walmart" instead of "stalked in a Walmart". The comic relief was appreciated.
But now to seriousness. I ALWAYS try and step up to aid my sisters in need. I've made up stories about boyfriends these women didn't even know they had who were coming back "any minute, so you might want to get out of his seat".
I've had my own issues with demanding that some one not touch me, mind you for the second time!! He balked and got angry, I held my cell phone up with two digits already dailed: 9-1 and stated "I'll be hitting the final digit if you don't get the hell out of my face." This was at a bar where the bouncer wasn't doing his job.
Ladies! Under NO circumstances should you endure a predatory man or woman..Be firm from the get go. It's the sense of power they feel they have over you that feeds this behavior. When the power is back in your hands, they wither on the vine in most cases. Also, at the same time, these people are human just like us. If you can connect with that side and still maintain control, you'll be able to defuse the situation.
The fellow I mentioned earlier left the bar and returned later, with an apology. I accepted it. He should lay off the booze. Alcohol, is a huge contributing factor to this behavior. Some of these guys are really decent sober people and then after a significant quantity of beer the world is their smorgasbord and you are the main course!
The safest festival I've ever been to:
Burning Man. (I was there for over a week.)
Electric Daisy Carnival (I was there for 3 hours.)
It's just people... in mass quantities.... on all sorts of drugs and whatnot. Just like going to the bar some nights, youre always gonna have the gross disrespectful ones who invade your bubble. Last year at forest I actually pretended I was a lesbian with my best friend so this creep would leave her alone... I told her dude if I have to kiss you and take one for the team I totally will haha... yeah, your a girl i presume... just use the vocals mamma gave you and scream like a 10 year old at a spice girls concert...trust me no "sane" man will stick around a screaming girl. And as for walking around festivals I would advise you to NEVER go alone! Buddy system will save you everytime. Maybe even invest in some mace?
yes get pepper spray super cheap on ebay. I have the on up top that looks like a black pen. http://www.ebay.com/sch/i.html?rt=nc&LH_BIN=1&_nkw=pepper+s...
i have not had experience with sexual assault at festivals, and i am so sorry that you have!!
the last local festival i went to though, this girl who was staying in a site next to me kept coming over and reaching into my pockets (hoodie pocket, pants pockets, spirithood pockets), and taking things of mine.. eventually she put crushed up drugs on a stuffed animal she was carrying and shoved it in my nose, even though i had told her numerous times i was staying sober for the festival. she brought over the stuffed animal and told me it smelled like this really good perfume.. then after i was forced to smell it, she told me that the stuffed animal just LOVES to do drugs and it had crap all over it for me. it bothered me so much (i have no idea what was on that stuffed animal, but i definitely got high from it), that i had someone pick me up and bring me home! it's definitely very off-putting. i try to just stay with people i know, and know where security is located, and remember that there are bad people everywhere, and things like this can happen where ever you go... but i have to admit it's definitely put a bad taste in my mouth about being around people at festies who are all drugged up on who knows what.. :/
I have been assaulted at a Disco Biscuits concert, but not at a festival. I was whipped with a nine-tail by a dominatrix that thought I was dancing sexy. My response was to have a 45 minute conversation with her about why it was inappropriate to do that in public without consent.
Unfortunately, when it is large men that are performing the assault, it is often harder to get them to listen to you about there actions being inappropriate. I'd say you had the best reaction there was, to find someone to help you get away from the situation. And maybe this next part will sound insensitive, because it really is a traumatic experience, but finding that person after you are in a safe place, with safe people, and telling him exactly why it is not ok that he did that will actually really help other girls for the future. It can be extremely hard to re-approach someone who has hurt us in such a severe way. But they will never know any differently (just watch the media and see what many men are taught to do to women) if WE (and I mean all of those who have been assaulted) don't stand up and tell each of them individually what they did/what they are doing was/is wrong.
Maybe just start with your insensitive friends. Personally, I think that your friends assaulted you as well, by not taking the situation seriously, and by not understanding that this man really hurt you. Like others have said on this site, wearing a certain type of clothing doesn't mean that a man needs to assault you. But our society has taught men that assaulting women is okay. It will be extremely hard, but we can help the situation of other women if we educate our male friends about what is appropriate.
Whenever possible, if a guy is touching a friend inappropriately, or touching me inappropriately, I just try to look him in the eye, move his hands very deliberately away from me and to his sides, and straight up tell him: "I am not interested in touching you, and I am not interested in you touching me. Please stop. It is disrespectful for you to continue when I have asked you to stop."
Most of the time this actually works. If I don't let him/her touch me at all, and if I look him/her straight in the eyes and say this, it usually works.
There are of course exceptions to this rule, and if the guy is a lot larger than you, it can be really difficult to have any sort of power in the situation to get the message across.
My whole heart is with you right now! I hope that you won't leave the festi scene altogether because of ass-wholes.
Peace and Light
That's really disturbing that there's not more information/resources about sexual assault available online. Because it is a REAL problem and if we pretend it doesn't exist, keep quiet, sweep it under the rug, then it's only going to continue. Seriously, someone needs to start a resource page or a community. One of the things I value about being a hooper is belonging to such a POWERFUL SISTERHOOD. It would be an amazing thing to use that connection to help other women and make festivals safer.