The other night my mother called me to tell me that my father's in the hospital. Tonight she called me and I missed her call, just getting to my phone after it stopped ringing. When I looked to see who's name it was, my heart jumped because I knew she was calling me to tell me how dad was doing. Thankfully he'll be okay, he's had his gallbladder out and everything else looks fine. It made me think about the things that upset us. Some things small and some things really serious. It helps to share when we're upset or frustrated about something. So I ask, what's the last thing you cried about?

Much love,
SaFire

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Last time I cried about two weeks ago, Friday it was, after a long and exhausting week. Small things were accumulating and after a training with my friends, where I had an argument with a guy who really annoys me, on the way to the shop after all of that I just started crying, because I couldn't stand that anymore. I started breathing normally, went to the shop, bought what I wanted to to and started crying again, all the way to my house.

Luckily it was dark and probably nobody had seen it.

About Japan. It is so sad! I cannot belive it....
The kids making messes....bad messes

Crying lots right now...no specific event, just sad I guess. I'm feeling really low and depressed right now and it's really exhausting, but I'm getting a reasonable amount of sleep so that's good. I'm kind of spiraling into old destructive habits and I know I am but I don't have a lot of energy to fight it. Oh foey, mental health is quite frustrating at times! Why I can't I just be okay? I'm trying so hard dang it! 

Hmm...that's enough complaining. Tomorrow is a new day to learn and gain perspective.

I was saying goodbye to the little boy I babysit for.  I told him I would see him next week, and he gave me a huge hug and told me he wasn't looking forward to next year (when I go to college).  I made it home, but then I started crying.  These two kids have been part of my life for nearly 6 years.  The youngest hasn't known life without me coming to see him at least once a week.  I've been there when he learned to walk and talk...and the oldest and I are really close, have lots of good conversations.  Up until the other day, I didn't think the younger one really understood that I was going to be leaving.  But when he said that, it all just hit me that in a few months I won't be able to be with them all the time anymore.

skype can be good for keeping in touch if you both have computer cameras..that way you can still have conversations and they can see you..when you come home for breaks they will be super excited to see you and will be like you never left..lol..they grow and change so darn fast when they are little..

Jen I actually met a woman from your class today and she mentioned your health issues. I wish you the best luck in getting better. I know when I couldnt hoop while I was at the end of my pregnancy and durring my 6 week recovery was the worst and literally made me depressed.I was wondering where you order your 1/2 in. gaffer tape? Also if you need someone to help with your classes while you recover my schedule is pretty open I have taught all ages from beginner fitness to trick and dance flow. I am only doing private lessons now, since demarco dance sessions started when I was 7 months pregnant so I had to skip out this year. I'd love to get together anyways when you are able to get hooping again!
Last time I cried was  today when I was washing the dishes, now that I think about it almost everytime I do cry I am dealing with water, so It is almost cleansing experience.  I just feel like there is so much going on, and I hate where I live I feel like it is so negitive!  I miss living being surround by trees and calmness, but I can't afford to live where I want to live yet. I feel like I am allowing everything negitive to affect me and I HATE IT and feel out of control about it. I try so hard to be positive and think positive, but I have my times where i feel like my arms get tired and the world crashes on top of my head.  But like all other troubles this to shall pass.

this one got me this morning. Touched me in places of my heart I didn't know needed to hear an apology, sincerity and commitment to love. Please watch this manifesto/love letter/apology to all women by conscious men. I love them for saying this, and loving us all back. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_uRIMUBnvw&NR=1

 

Your thoughts?

The last time I cried was last Saturday, when I was at a juggling convention (Lestival, in Leicester in England), and at the end of the interval of the show.. my friend proposed to his girlfriend!! He pulled her up on stage and said a few things and then got down on one knee and aaahhhh I'm getting teary just thinking about it :)

yesterday. i just broke up with my boyfriend but i didnt want to. it was one of those things where you love someone very much but theres no future with them...he has 4 kids and a vasectomy. i think that kind of spells it out right there. pretty upsetting. 

 

ssucks when love isnt enough.

For what it's worth it, I can relate so much with this. I've been on the other side of the deal, and I've been dumped because of my choice to not having more children. All I can say is that I know how much it hurts. I understood my partner at the time, and I totally understand you. Hugs, lots of <3

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