The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new. ~Rajneesh
I found...when I had my children that there was a vital shift inside me...where I had always been artistic and "connected" Motherhood opened up this Need to create....like the very act of being a part of the creation of a new life in the world necessitated the continuation of Creativity in a more urgent way. Maybe for me it was about expressing myself as my time had become precious and so much of my energy was spent meeting the needs of others. Maybe There was a connection to something ancient that awakened in me...but either way every dance,song, painting comes from a place I couldn't fully reach before I had my children.
Has your experience as a Mother impacted your connection to "divinity?'
Something ancient, yes. I really struggled when I first became a mother. The old me was gone and I wasn't sure who I wanted to become. I felt pulled so many directions. I wanted to be responsible, but still have fun. I wanted to dedicate myself to my family, but still have an identity. So I started to draw. While I was pregant I read "Birthing From Within" which suggested drawing to prepare for birth, but it didn't occure to me for a while I could draw my mother-self into being as well. I'm realistic enough to know doodling breastfeeding mamas isn't enough to make a gal happy, so before my son was born I enrolled in college. With school, as with art, I feel it helps me maintain my creative, independent self. I also think it's important to be a role model for my kids. For a long time I didn't believe I could go back to school or accomplish anything. Now I have the confidence to take on any project...sometimes too many at once! I hope my kids will grow up confident in themselves and proud of all their Art.
And as for divinity, yes again. "Thou art goddess. Thou art the womb of the world."
Motherhood has made me more capable. I am a classic youngest child - intense, creative dabbler. I would flit from idea to idea, and many made it to the half complete stage. Motherhood has made me the supreme juggler. Sometimes, I think that is what being a parent is all about - life chucks you more and more things that you have to keep in the air: at first I tried to keep everything up, then I learned to recognize more important things. The most important thing that motherhood has taught me is how to pick up the pieces when I drop the ball...
Motherhood has made me more open to others. I find that I see my kids all learning differently with different starting blocks - and I realize that the world around me has stumbling blocks of their own, and that acceptance can be a light to help everyone find their way. On the other hand, motherhood has made me fiercely protective. I am happy to say that I can be a mother bear when necessary, and unhappy to say that I have been a mama bear when not necessary.
Motherhood has given me resolve. I used to be a runner. The kind who found a new city when things got rough. I have to say that many times as a mother my life has been rough: we have been poor, we have been desperate, when 18 month old Erik went through a 3 month manic nursing phase of nursing every 30 minutes for 15 minute stretches 24/7, I was beyond any limit that I had ever known and still could not imagine running.
In terms of creativity, I resonate with all you are saying. Ishkara, I too am the youngest in my family, and followed a similar creative path to pre-motherhood. Now, I find I am more disciplined in my creative endeavors--not that I still finish them in a timely manner, but I take my creative and physical expressions more seriously, more diligently, because I have fewer moments to myself.
I find I have a stronger connection to life and creative forces in general, and I appreciate the work of nature and the universe on a more scientific yet spiritual level (I know, those words are often considered contradictory, but not to me). I value how every natural thing, on a cellular level, has the urge to create, create, create. Indeed, it is what we are all designed to do.
I wish I could say there was some primal awaking in me after becoming a mother but truth is, the awaking happened WAY before actualy becoming a mother. I always had a strng connection with the earth and my maternal side. I helped my mother raise my brother. I come from a strong matriarchal family, my brother being the only boy at thetime, including cousins. I was a doula prior to becoming a parent also. I've always had that in me. As far as creative awakening? The only thing that has really changed is instead of everything being made for myself and friends, I make and create things with the wee ones in mind ;)
For some reason your wish made me laugh, Amber T...in a good way! I'm imagining new mothers tracking their Primal Awakening in a pregnancy guide or asking their midwife why the paleolithinc goddess inside them hasn't awakened yet. haha! More seriously, I think you were lucky to have it before hand.
Before being a mother, I would concider myself a creative mad woman.... I was this scattered crazy artist. Potter, Knitter, Sculpter, Photographer, Painter, Oil Pastels, Drawing ~ You name it~ I do it...
Now that I am a mother, I am just a creative woman that has been brought down to earth because of my daughter. I have never been so solid, stable, and content with my life. Also sure of who I am as a person. I go through phases with my art though, Sometimes I wont do much creative for weeks then all of a sudden it wells up inside of me and bursts out of my hands. I am feeling the last couple of days a knitting attack is coming...
Opal is 21 months now and I am SO happy she is getting older because when she was just a wee baby it was almost impossible to get my knitting out~now she just wants to create with me! Motherhood has been amazing for myself and my creative bones.
Ultimately~i think it will be the best for my daughter if we both embrace our nature~ we are born on the same day July 13th.... born 23 years and 6 hours apart to the minute. She is so much like me its scary sometimes but I know that she is just as creative~if not MORE than I ever will be... Yikes.... Anyways ~my ramble is about over....
I feel so very blessed to have this wonderful girl in my life that has truely brought my whole self into light and has connected me with my divinity.