I just looked at the last date that I made an entry and wondering how fast the time goes. Although I am very conscience of each and every day, still it seems to be moving at a steady pace. I am moving to another phase of recovery, seeing the results of my hard work. And this is such hard work. Don't get me wrong I love rising to the challenge and then feeling the joy as I succeed and move to the next one. One thing I have learned more than anything, is that you must keep going. No matter how hard, no matter if you are feeling as though the tunnel has gotten longer or even if the light fades for a second. Don't stop, no matter what, push harder, draw another breath, look for a new way, reach to your very soul and shout to the world, "I am there, I am going to make it, just one more step." ...because you will, The joy, the blessing, the gift, and most of all the grace, are right there. I had that right there moment this weekend. I have really had myself shut away working myself with getting back to my work routine, exercise, swimming, (yes yeah! I am in the pool) and pushing on thru each day. Yes it is getting a bit easier, days last longer, I don't tire so much and I am getting prepared for my next surgery in October. Although I pick up my hoops and play with them, and do some belly dancing, I haven't felt comfortable getting into a costume or turning on the vid recorder. I am kinda being like Rocky when he went back to his old roots to train. All of the outside fanfare and attention broke his focus. When I first started hooping, I hooped by myself, in my den and only for "The General".,,,cause I loved performing. I still do, Then that first video sent to my sisters via Youtube changed my hooping world and opened it to the public. My wishes then and now are still to inspire others, to spread good positive energy, because I beleive it to be the gift of God to enrich and touch other lives. So with all of the love and support from the hooping world and all the encouragement I have receieved from everyone I am going to finally be able to make a video and share the results of my hard work and my ever fighting spirit. I have been having a hard time trying to make my melodia pants feel comfortable and finding some rag tag pieces of clothing to create my little costumes. I so love making my own ensambles and someday I'll call them the "Rag Muffin" line of clothing. (oh that is a whole other story for a different day!) Anywho....I got a pair of pants from the dollar general and a skirt I ripped and reformed and on Sunday, I just said, ok, today I am making a costume. I have an idea. I need to put on a costume and dance in it and see how it feels. So I whipped it up and next thing you knew, I was prancing (yep, I can prance now!) around showing The General, "look , I am in a costume!!!" I pulled out my mini's. "Sparkle", my polypro, (thanks Traci!) and my favorite jingly belt : cranked up the music and let it rip! Awwww I had a great time. I laughed and cried and rocked it, sweated from head to toe. And it felt great,,,really felt great.
I am ready to try again, the clothes are in the wash as we speak, and this time, I 'll be hitting the record button!