My recovery is still going strong, and so am I, but I have to face some facts.

The unmarked loose fitting cowboy boots clicked their way towards me. My spinal doctor's boots matched his pressed white shirt, they were unreally clean and untouched by earth. I'm dirty, wearing a backbrace that must smell {I've lost my sense of smell} and dragging around crutches wrapped in old hoop tape. I came into the office expecting good news, but instead my doctor stated my fear. "It's time to become brains instead of bronze." the clean doctor demanded. "There's a bar fused in your spine, so I doubt you'll be dancing at the university again." Tears rolled down my face. I knew better than to believe him, but I just can't believe that hooping and just plain dancing needed to leave my body alone. How could I live?

The first few times I hooped around my head, I got insainly dizzy. Swaying my head around moved my injured brain. Lucky me, I can hoop on my head again without getting dizzy and ill. That's why they call me Swizzy.

Anyways, simple things, like playing video games, would hurt my brain worse than hooping on my head. Extreme pain shot all about the skull when I tried to play call of duty with my boyfriend and friend inside the hospital. So I gave up my sitting down hobby. But lucky me, I can play hours of nazi zombies once more.

I know, I'm so sure of it, I know I will be able to rock so hard on stage next year. I know this because, I'm so strong, that even with a paralyzed leg, I was able to stand on my right long enough to practice iso's, therefore I get to shock nerves in my leg back to life because of how I am able to clean up my paralyzed leg's mistakes. Like I would do while hoop dancing.

But Ive been so scared of the chronic pain. While I still don't have control over my upper abs, I have a horrid numbness that belts around my stomach. What can I do? uhh...just gotts to push past it.

But I can't push past being bed bound. If i'm out and about I get so drained within a few hours. The lack of energy is killing me. I can entertain myself while in bed, but I'm in f-ing bed all day most days. I wake up tired as can be. I don't like this brain injury. How can I push past it? I'm so smart, I can read and write well enough still. I could go back to school for things outside of dance. But I'm so tired. Coffee, redbull, nothng  helps.

Next summer I'm touring with a local band. But I'm afraid that my brain is always gonna leave me so drained of energy. I'm a guarded person, but I need help sometimes, I guess.

Lucky me, I was so strong and smart that I'm still strong and smart. I'm the only person I know who is lucky as I. So because I should be dead, what do I have to fear? Stupid brain injury, i'm going to over come you, so watch out!!!