Comment by Jana from Ula Oopla land on April 8, 2009 at 12:24pm

"Life's too short to waste worrying or being unhappy. I must accept what is, but work as hard as I can to live the best I can and enjoy the wonderful people, places, and experiences I have surrounding me."
this is from your own profile informations, maybe try thinking about that, I know times like this are not easy...
Sending you my love.

Comment by Ishkara on April 8, 2009 at 12:36pm

(((Hugs)))

Comment by Lulu Hoop* of Spiraling Within* on April 8, 2009 at 1:08pm

Death is a tricky thing. Sometimes our minds don't process it. Either they can't handle it or they can't understand it. Losing a grandparent can be hard to process. Generally they are someone that we don't see everyday, but that we hold dear in our memories. So it can be easy for our mind to play tricks on us, to keep us from feeling pain. I lost my father when I was 17. I was a combination of being a total sobbing mess and a numb walking soul for years. It was just too much to handle. Then 5 or so years later when my grandfather, his father, passed on.... I felt nothing. Absolutely nothing. And it made me so guilty. I loved my grandfather, I didn't understand why I wasn't upset with his passing. But I realized later on that my mind was protecting me from breakdown. I still imagined that he was home with grammie, I just wasn't visiting, so that's why I wasn't seeing him. And even when I visited it was like he was in another room or something. It took many years before I was ready to realize he was gone. I needed time.

And you do too. Don't beat yourself up about it. Take the time you need to heal and to process. You said you had a ruff year. You're body and mind are trying to protect you, it could just be too much for right now. Just remember everyday to breath in and out. To take time to enjoy your life. Watch a good movie. Spend some time with your hoop... even if you're not feeling it at first. Put on some good music and explore the space in and around your hoop. Go for a walk. Visit family and loved ones. Don't try to hard to "feel" or be pressured to make small talk. Just be with people you love. Sometimes you'll need time to just lay in bed and let things pass around you. And that's ok. Just don't spend forever there. Reach out to others, there precence will help you.

This is but one step in your life, there are many twists and turns and rainbows ahead. Take from this the preciousness of it all. Continue growing and being.

☮♥Lulu Hoop

Comment by Kinetic Kristen* on April 8, 2009 at 8:46pm

Aw, no! I can't say anything that hasn't already been said but I am sorry to hear about everything that's happened/happening. I send my hugs and love to you.

Comment by Adriene on April 9, 2009 at 12:40pm

Megan, sweet sister, you are strong. You have a lot in you and I know time will heal. Take it day by day, and you will find yourself in the light. My thoughts are with you when I am not! See you soon. : )

Comment