We get so caught up in how we look to others that it impedes our ability to embrace spontaneous joy. The hoop helps free us from this self-inflicted paralysis.  It is a fearless dance partner who shows us that we are doing just great, we are beautiful, graceful and joyful in this moment.

As much as I believe this with all my heart, I find I still have to remind myself daily, to say to myself that where I am with the hoop at this moment is fine, it is exactly right.  It's so easy to get caught up in hoop envy or self-doubt.  When I first heard of the concept of flight time for hooping at the beginning of my hoop journey, I admit I wasn't too enamoured with it, but now I see its value.  Sure I have technically been hooping since mid April, but I have done so little hooping for 3 months of it, that evaluating it from a chronological perspective becomes challenging. The deeper question is why do I feel I need to quantify this at all?  It's been a difficult fall and winter so far, I haven't been able to hoop comfortably-initially from being sick and the resultant inner ear issue that made me horribly nauseous everytime I hooped for months, to the rib injury that has kept me apart from my beloved dance partner.  In the necessary physical stillness of my recovery,it's been far too easy to languish in my mind in a place of hoop sorrow and panic that I am falling so far behind where I want to be, and yes, the dreaded where I should be.  I know I am not alone in this state of mind.  I think of Philo Hagen's comment about how apologetic and self-critical hooping video postings have become.  Why are we forever apologizing for our lack of space, experience, and any number of self-perceived flaws?  Do we feel that if we say it first, then we don't have to risk being judged?  Is this one of the reasons why some of us don't post videos at all?  We are like children punching ourselves so that the school bully won't feel the need. Put this way, it's easy to see how ridiculous this kind of thinking is,but unfortunately being aware that it is silly is not a curative. This crippling fear of criticism sadly informs how so many people move through life, not just through the hoop. It causes us to limp and stumble where we could stride bravely, run fearlessly, defy our own and others limitations and soar.  Fine words, perhaps (there's that self-criticism again, sneaky thing), but how do we move past the fear?  In the words of Bob from the movie What about Bob-baby steps, baby steps.  We are amazing as babies, we don't think "no that's impossible, I am only capable of moving this way, on my hands and knees."  We see that there is another way, our bodies know it is possible, and we learn to walk, and  run and dance.  And people applaud, as they should.  Wow, look at that. 

Now let's all pick up our hoops, spin, swirl and stumble in a beautiful perfectly imperfect dance.  Close your eyes and hear us clapping.

 

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Comment by spin gypsy of Centric Hoops* on January 13, 2011 at 5:04pm

Beautifully said.  I agree with you on so many levels here.  I tend to find myself being so judgemental at times; during practice, after practice, for not practicing, watching another's practice.  It has gotten better as my journey has evolved, but initially that endeavoring nemesis self-judgement prevailed as it always had before.  Hooping has actually been quite the catalyst in my life in learning to appreciate myself, flaws and all (or unflawed as I like to think- all being perfect in it's own way).  Ever so often I feel jealousy or envy sprouting up inside; "I wish I had her clothes," "why can't I hoop in *so and so*," "I don't make enough money to have that hoop," ect.  But, to me, all is a lesson learned; suffering is the only thing that can manifest from the attachments to material things (even mental things like being better, having more friends, or wanting more confidence in this situation).  I believe it to be a lesson in life in which we begin to see the connection between attachment and suffering to then help make those thoughts and feelings decline.  It is a hard road, no doubt, but if we ever want to be present and satisfied, we must diminish this link. 

 

I like the example of being a child; we are so young and impressionable, yet so full of life and without worry.  We don't think about what others think of us.  We may want something that another has, but eventually the feeling floats away like a cloud in the sky.  There are so many attributes that we have as children that I wish would have carried over stronger into adult age like couriosity, rebellion, and a strong imagination just to name a few.

 

Thanks for this and for the opportunity to re-evaluate my thoughts on it.  Peace.  :)

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