I am realizing greater each day that the more I wish to be a part of this creative community the more I desire to explain my intentions within it.  Here go my ever evolving-ever growing thoughts on self, creation and community.

NOTE: Anytime I switch tense to “you”, I am not necessarily yelling at you, much of this is transcribed from a journal where I talk to myself. :)

                Our greatest blessing is that our species is self-aware.  We have such amazing possibility to self-reflect, to know ourselves, to choose and empower our path.  I personally feel the best art is created because the artist has an intrinsic and expressive need to explore themselves.  This art is magnetizing.  It is an exercise of self-examination, which mirrors and resonates the expressive potential in all of us.  The vastness of human experience personified singularly. 

When we see others who are personifications of this expanded flourishing there are two primary places to which our thoughts can go: inspiration or judgment.  I don’t feel that either is necessarily right or wrong, but more an opportunity for understanding of where someone is and why at that moment they choose to be there.  If one is going to acknowledge that positive thoughts hold valuable lessons, I believe you must also seek understanding from the darker reflections as well.  I don’t think we should hold our humanity against each other or against ourselves. And I will never judge myself or others for exercising the right to grow. 

Why someone chooses judgment, either of themselves or the person observed, is often directly related to their own insecurity about their expressive value.  I know I’ve felt it, I’m pretty sure most people have, but the greatest lesson I learned was to put these feelings on trial.  Ask them questions to seek the truth at the heart of them.  At the heart of my insecurities is fear, of not being good enough, unique enough, or valuable enough.  The origin of which can be traced to the idea of comparative value.  The thought that, “so- and- so is amazing at blah-di-blah, I don’t look like so-and so, so I am not amazing.”  Measuring myself on a cosmic chart of expressive value that is a fantasy of my insecure mind.  These feelings of course, reflected a lack of self-knowledge.  I hadn’t yet explored myself.

Here are the nuts of it: You are intrinsically valuable and unique.  There is nobody on this earth like you, never has been, and never will be again.  With that being said, there are a million possible perspectives of you, positive, negative, ambivalent and all those shades in between.  You are not someone’s reflection of you; in fact, their assessment is based on their own biases and is their mechanism for reinforcing their perceived reality and values.  Understanding of others is the greatest gift you can give yourself.  An assumed unpleasant reaction from another is not reason not to do it. Dually, your perception of desired action from you also doesn’t warrant your reaction.  Those moments are the ones where it is most powerful to sink into self.  Be what you want to see. Be who you know you are.

We all have the same tools: a body, space, and energy.  Nobody owns it or an area of exploration.  Innovation is the illumination of new creative spaces. If you seek to own it, you doom it to limitation.  When you share it you get to play, create and expand the light.  If you turn a flashlight on in a dark room, and you discover brilliant colors and you refuse to allow others into the room, how will you know how large and beautiful it truly is?  Put your explorations and discoveries out there, not to claim ownership of it, or place a flag in it, but because you acknowledge that there is a greater potential to be achieved.  By not supporting others flourishing you do not make your light brighter.   In fact this goes back to the direct mistrust you have of your own value still “stacking up.”  To share a quote from a Ted Talk by Chris Anderson, “The light and desire attract new people to the crowd.  LET IN the light, dial up the DESIRE.  You have to open up, you have to show yourself to the world.  It’s by giving up what you think is your biggest secret that others are empowered to help improve it.” I don’t believe in a creative monopoly.

To entirely disacknowledge the ego in creation I believe is a fallacy.  One must believe in themselves and believe that their creations hold merit, are worth sharing, and are valuable.  You have to believe in your art as much as you believe in yourself.  I think ego in creation becomes dangerous when the value of expression becomes reliant on competition and comparison.  I do not wish to have my ego in a place where it is subject to either inflation or deflation based on the input of others.  If I choose to acknowledge negative feedback as being reflective of someone else’s journey, I must also reflect that positive feedback doesn’t always reflect upon the essence of my art, but only an outside perspective of it. It can’t affect the true nature of my expression because then it alters the joy and honesty of that expression.  Remember, you are doing no favors by limiting yourself for the sake of others; in fact this is a gross underestimation of their value as well as your own.  Through Imitation you learn, through Innovation we grow.

I have this fear that the opportunity for me to discover something new can be taken away.  It terrified(ies) me that I may step on someone’s toes in some way if I then begin exploring these discoveries or that I’d be viewed as unoriginal.  However, I must acknowledge that others may be on similar paths and to all contribute to the journey will help us get further faster- together. While we are all influenced by each other we are simultaneously expanding the dialogue of our dance.  With each new hooper comes new interpretation and language.  It is a good thing to make discoveries singularly, but if you wish you be a part of a community and aid in its evolution that ego must be set aside.  There isn’t a blue print that we’re all aiming for, ideally we’re sharing some of our materials to build anew from what lies within.  I think hoarding ideas is both a waste of energy and anti-productive.  Plus, guess what, there is cross over where ever humans are creating, the same ideas can be circled upon by separate entities and claiming ownership or feeling unwelcome to experiment in new arenas doesn’t help anyone.  If I see someone playing with a new technique, I’m going to try it, not because I want to ‘steal it’ or look better than anyone, but because I want to see what I can discover through it and give back.  Whatever was initially created is intrinsically valuable.  Something once valuable to you alone doesn’t become less-so the more you spread it, but rather the opposite, it magnifies if you allow yourself to be simultaneously teacher and student. 

I learned quickly with hooping that a disconnected flow, where you’ve spent no energy discovering your style is an untapped source.  I love the idea of inspiration and believe its positive to share, like I said, we’ll reach places unknown and unfathomable when we combine harmoniously, but I do not believe it is a form of branding.  Inspiration doesn’t put a mark of ownership on anyone.  If I’ve been inspired by someone what I do with that inspiration from that point on is truthful to self.  Dually, if I’ve inspired someone I’m not thinking, “wow, they’re really good at doing what I do,” it’s, “holy shit, they’re amazing.” I don’t want any part of someone else’s flourishing, the vast scope of someone’s existence and art is so personal it would be unfruitful for me to label it singularly or pigeon-hole it.  We share the seeds of ideas, some which have flourished vibrantly already in the hearts of others, and if each person nourishes it in their own flow there are endless possibilities and evolutions.

I know not everyone thinks this way, but I thought it best to let known my intentions.  I once asked myself if I could exist in a world filled with beautiful powerful beings and feel at home among them.  I have concluded undoubtedly yes.  Not only for myself but for my perspective on others as a whole this has been the greatest gift I could’ve given myself.  Lets continue this beautiful journey together, I acknowledge appreciate all that you are and respect and am appreciative of all those who contribute so beautifully in this lifetime.  Make it your own, make it true, and since it is not for others to judge what is honest, let others be exactly where they are on their journey.  What is in control is your expressions, your bliss and your power.  I choose to understand and love others because in doing so I understand and love myself.

You are your art. It is your true nature being given reign to flow freely.  It’s what is innate and perpetuates your evolution in this lifetime. There is room enough in this world for all to flourish.

To conclude with my favorite quote from Trance Dance:

“This is you. This is your true self finally fighting to be allowed to reveal itself from inside.  You are everything.  No boundaries.  No values. I can reveal myself in all shapes and aspects, colors, tones, cultures, ages. Allow me an empty head, absent of old representations.  Just love me inside you, acknowledge me in you and let me flow through you and take possession of you.  The rest will take care of itself.”