This video may not be anything special to anyone else, but it is to me. I'm not ashamed to say all of this aloud, because it has become a part of who I am. Two weeks before Christmas last year, I was treated for suicidal thoughts. I was sent away and spent 4 days in an institution, and yes, that includes Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. I didn't want to do anything anymore. I didn't want to live day to day. I didn't want to hoop, I didn't want to eat. I eventually was diagnosed bipolar and released. Everything has been extremely difficult since then. Some days are great, others are very difficult and I just want to disappear. Only recently have I been able to pick up my hoop and play around. It was a great relief to me that I still enjoy my hoop, and that it continued to bring me peace when I was/am in so much despair. Please, no comments on how crazy I am, or anything of that nature. This is also not a cry out for attention.

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Comment by Nikki Rae on April 11, 2012 at 8:40pm

mama your not crazy we all got stuff, we all fall and we all get stronger. Honestly when I saw the title I had to watch this video because I was totally gonna name my next video recovery because I myself am recovering from my own stuff and have now reached a clarity and understanding about myself and  my body that amazes me everyday. Once you reach your pink cloud and are completely connected again to yourself and the universe around you all you have to do is the next right thing and the next right thing will happen.

I can relate to 90% of your story a lot of these things happened to me and today I can say I am happy,calm and have no resentments, I do not get bitter and I am not angry and I most defiantly do not react I reflect and take one day at a time and not worry about yesterday or today...life will only go up mama if you just hang in there and stay positive even when shit gets rough.   

Comment by Çaturn on April 10, 2012 at 10:54pm

  this is a fantastic video!  such simple, pure talent, and so creative! totally Inspiring!


Student
Comment by Danielle Starshine on April 10, 2012 at 9:39pm

aww girl, you're not crazy. don't let anyone ever tell you that. people are so quick to stigmatize others when they're having mental problems just because the pain isn't visible or physical. channel your feelings into your art and beautiful things will come out, as evident by this video. <333 

Comment by TwiztidHoopz on April 10, 2012 at 2:29pm
Damn, girl.. You rock that hoop!! I'm very happy you still find joy in your hooping, and I really look forward to future videos from you..:)
Comment by Maryellen on April 10, 2012 at 9:25am

Thank you for sharing, i think it means alot when you can put yourself out there so openly. <3

Comment by Shanna Sweet on April 10, 2012 at 9:17am

Love this! Love your style! Thanks for sharing your experience.

Comment by Tinka Tosser Rainbow Rosser on April 10, 2012 at 9:01am

hope you are feeling better. you are defs one of the smoothest and sexiest dancers ive seen thus far. it must be awesome that hooping still brings you joy when you are feeling confused. im only just new to the hula world and i am very excited to soon be able to rock out just like you did. rainbow kisses to you sister girl, may you feel the love now and forever :-D xox

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